Writing Starter #59

Allen: So are you leaving home or coming home?

Nina: (thick Russian accent in all dialogue) What says you?

Allen: Oh, I guess I'll take that as coming home.  You're from Russia?

Nina: Yes, Russia is my home.

Allen: So what brought you to America?

Nina: A kind of research.

Allen: Oh, research? What do you do?

Nina: I destroy America.

Allen: You... ummm... what?

Nina: What? what is it?

Allen What did you say you do?

Nina: I burn America to the ground.

Writing Starter #58

Tim: Well? Do something.

Oliver: What do you mean? Like, open it?

Tim: Sure.

Oliver: What if there's something inside?

Tim: Isn't that kind of the point of opening it?

Oliver: No, I mean, something dangerous.

Tim: Like what?

Oliver: I don't know, a bomb? A gun? Bees that have been uncomfortably condensed into a box and aren't very happy about it?

Tim: I feel like we'd be able to hear bees.

Oliver: Well, still, you see my point.

Tim: Here, I'll open it.

Tim opens the box and stares inside

Oliver: What's inside?

Tim: ...it's...it's a note.

Oliver: What does it say?

Tim: It says... "remember, he led you here."

Writing Starter #56

Me: Look, I know there are a lot of factors to consider, but the one movie that satisfies every need in a good movie is Forrest Gump.

Dave: What?! You've got to be kidding.

Me: It's a great movie!

Dave: It's a quotable feel-good nostalgia fest.  

Me: Well I didn't even get the nostalgia because I wasn't alive for any of that anyway, and I still loved it.

Dave: I can't even believe we're having this discussion.  It is the godfather.  End of discussion.

Me: Any reasons to back that up?

Dave: Sure, it's the greatest movie ever made.

Me: That's not a reason, that's the argument!!!

Patrick: Guys, I'm pretty sure it's Argo.

Me: No no no, you're not doing this again.  First it was Slumdog Millionaire.  Then The Hurt Locker.  Now Argo.  You can't just pick the best picture winner and call it the best movie ever made.

Patrick: But Argo was so good!

Me: And what happened to Slumdog Millionaire.

Patrick: It didn't even get nominated this year, not good anymore.

Dave: Don't bother, he's hopeless.

One Act Play

Alvin: 15-18, a high school student who is always looking to help people out, at times to a fault.

Kenny: 15-18, Alvin's enthusiastic friend who often fails to realize the danger in a situation.

Manny: 15-18, a new kid at school with a thick Italian accent whose background is a little mysterious.

Scene: A late fall night in New York, at a dock on the Hudson River.  Alvin is talking on his cell phone.

Alvin: Sorry, Kenny I can't tonight.  I'm helping out that new kid Manny with a job... I'm not really sure.  He never told me.  He just asked if I'd help him out with a job and I could use the money so I said yes!... Oh come on, what could I possibly be doing that I'd be uncomfortable with?... Oh ya, I'm sure Manny Anzelmo spends his saturday nights "comforting" old ladies at the retirement home, and decided to rope me in.  Besides, we're not even close to the retirement home... He sent me out to that old dock off the Hudson.  Ya know now that I think about it, his dad is the owner of Anzelmo shipping and receiving.  I see their boats around all the time.  We're probably just doing some loading for them or something... Alright, see ya later.

The engine of a truck is heard, headlights shine on Alvin, then go out, the engine stops, and Manny enters.  

Manny: Hey Al, you ready to do this?

Alvin: Yeah sure.  So what exactly are we doing here?

Manny: Just helpin' out my dad with his work.

Alvin: Ok, that's what I thought.

Manny: I'll go grab one and we'll start unloading.

Manny exits, then enters, dragging a long, heavy, black bag.  Alvin glances down to see it.  

Alvin: Uhhhhh... wha... wha... what is that? (Stuttering)

Manny: Work! And let me tell you he was a squirmy one.  Let's dump this guy!

Alvin: Uhhhh III've gotta make call.  My... my mom wants me to pick up dinner!

Alvin runs to the side and pulls out his phone.  

Alvin: (hushed) Kenny! Hey! Look, things are a little different then I thought.  Look, I'm sorry to even rope you into this because of your dad and all, but this kid's got a bunch of dead bodies!... I know!  I think he might be part of the mob!  I gotta get out of here! I need you to come swing by in your truck... Kenny? Kenny?! Oh god...

Manny: Hey what's the hold up? Mama can't decide if she wants barbecue sauce?

Alvin: There were... uhhh... a lot of side options, and she was considering potato wedges even though--

Manny: I don't care.  Will ya just help me already?

Alvin: Yeah... listen Manny... I'm not sure this kinda thing is exactly--

Manny: Hey! Who's that over there?!

Kenny enters

Kenny: Hey guys, what's goin' on?

Manny pulls out a gun

Manny: You got 2 seconds to tell me who you are and what you're doing here before I blow your head off!!!

Kenny: Ahhh please don't shoot! I'm here to help! I'm Alvin's friend!

Manny: You invited him?!?!

Alvin: What?! No! Why would I do that?!

Manny: Well then why is he here?

Alvin: I don't know!

Kenny: Hey, it just sounded like fun, I thought I could help you guys out.

Manny slowly drops his gun

Manny: (Surprisingly upbeat) Well then let's get crackin'! Gimme a hand new guy!

Kenny: It's Kenny.

The two grab the first body and hurl it offstage.  Manny exits to get another.

Alvin: Dude! What are you doing here?!

Kenny: I'm here to help!

Alvin: What do you mean you're here to help?! This guy almost shot you!

Kenny: Oh please, he was never gonna shoot me.  Does he really look like a killer to you?

Alvin: He killed all of those guys!

Kenny: Huh, yeah I guess he did.

Alvin: Why did you come here in the first place?

Kenny: Are you kidding? You called me and said you're helping this new Italian kid unload a bunch of dead bodies! That sounds like the mob to me, and I gotta get in on that.

Alvin: This guy's a psychopath!

Kenny: What? Noooo. Just a murderer! And a disposer of corpses.  Like us!

Alvin: This isn't what we do, Kenny! We live in a suburb! We are not part of the mob! For God's sake, what would your dad say?

Kenny: (intense, grabbing Alvin by the neck of his shirt) Don't you dare bring my dad in to this!  (let's go, relaxes slightly) Sorry. (pause) But my dad made his decisions.  He wasn't a very smart guy.  And just because he couldn't handle a little danger doesn't mean I can't.

Manny: (from offstage) Al, Kenny, come gimme a hand, I got a big guy over here.

Alvin: Look, we'll just politely tell him that we can't be a part of this. 

Kenny: What? No!

Manny enters

Manny: Hey, what's the hold up? I need some help with fat albert over here.

Alvin: Listen, Manny, I think there's been a bit of a misunderstanding here.  You see, we're not really the type of guys who are suited for this line of work.

Manny: What? No, you're fine in what you're wearing.  Ya know ya don't have to go in the water right? God, why does everyone always think ya gotta jump in with them?

Alvin: No, see, I think we're misunderstanding each other here.  What I'm trying to say is that--

Kenny: What my friend here is trying to say is that we are extremely grateful for the opportunity to work with you!

Alvin: ...excuse us for a second.   

(hushed and to the side)

Alvin: What was that?!

Kenny: I'm not letting you ruin this for me Alvin.

Alvin: You're not a criminal Kenny! You're going to get arrested, if not killed!

Kenny: I'm not saying I wanna be a hit man. But this is a once in a lifetime opportunity! The mob is a powerful organization and I'd really rather have them on my side.  Let's just not burn any bridges, alright?

Alvin: What about dead bodies, huh? Is it ok to burn those? Or maybe evidence, or homes, or hospitals? This is some sketchy stuff!

Kenny: Maybe you just aren't mature enough to handle it.  But I am! If you wanna run away like a little boy then by all means be my guest.  But I've dealt with death.  It's a part of my life.  And I'd much prefer my wife and kids to have a killer for a father than have a police officer knock on their door and tell them they found their dad floating in a river.

Lights and sirens come from offstage

Manny: Cops? What the hell is this? (turns to Kenny) You set me up! You're a snitch, you set me up! I knew!

Kenny: (panicked) What?! No, of course I didn't! I would ne--

Manny pulls out his gun and shoots Kenny in the head

Alvin: You bastard!

Alvin charges at Manny immediately, knocking him to the ground, and beats him while beginning to sob.  As he does, gunshots come from offstage and Alvin falls over, dead.  

The end.

Writing Starter #55

Scene: A teacher's room in the middle of the day, a pouting, bored high school student named Chris sits back in his chair away from his lunch while the strict Mr. Ferrell eats his sandwich.

Chris: I bet you think I'm enjoying this.  I'm not!

Mr. Ferrell: Now, why would I ever think you would enjoy this?

Chris: Huh?

Mr. Ferrell: Look, it's no secret you don't like me, and I'm sure if you had the choice you would much rather be in the lunchroom with all of your friends right now.

Chris: But... I bet you think that any student would be lucky to get one-on-one time with you... ya know, because you have such a huge ego.

Mr. Ferrell: chuckling, I'm sure you get enough of me in class every day.

Chris: Well... ya I do! Too much!  But how do you even know that?!

Mr. Ferrell: How do I know that? How do I know that after screaming at you for half a period every day for not doing your homework, and then staring you down the rest to try to get you to start on that night's, that you're not exactly aching to spend more time with me?

Chris: So... you know you're a jerk?

Mr. Ferrell: I'm not a jerk, Chris.  Look, I know from your perspective it comes off like that, but I try to help my kids out.  In an ideal world we could be best friends and you would turn in your homework everyday and every problem would be done correctly.  But if you have to hate me in order for me to be able to teach you anything, I'll gladly sacrifice the friendship.

Writing Starter #54

"I can't believe I would ever hurt you like that! I feel terrible! If I could go back and tell myself not to do that I would! I honestly feel like I was a completely different person than I am now or that I ever have been.  Please give me another chance, I swear nothing like that will ever happen again."

Writing Starter #53

I hate peas.

You can't just say you hate something, you have to give it a try.

Look, I can have any opinion I want about... peas.  I know I don't like them.  I choose not to have them.

But people have been eating peas for years now.  Millions of them.  Can't you understand that perhaps peas are a pretty good thing if so many people choose to have them?

They're just not for me, I know that for a fact.  You don't understand.

Clearly I don't! It doesn't make any sense that you just wouldn't even give them a try!

Look, when I think about having a... pea... I just don't like it.  It's a bad feeling.

That's just what you've made them out to be!  But if you've never had one you wouldn't know what they're actually like!

But I know that I wouldn't enjoy it.  And them I'd just have to live with the bad decision I had made.

What about 20 years from now? Are you still going to keep yourself from having peas? Where will that leave you? It's a fundamental part of life!

If I happen to have changed my views peas by then, then maybe I'll give one a try.  But if not, I don't have to.  I'm fine living without them.

Writing Starter #52

Mr. Fickler decided he would teach the students a lesson about being so messy by not cleaning any not immediately noticeable mess up at all.  He left all of the spills, the stains, and the stockpiles of garbage.  He was so close to retirement that it didn't even matter if he got fired for it.  He was expecting simply a terrible smell to roam about the schools.  However, the waste left by the children became so toxic it began to transform the rats living underneath the school.  They developed a rough exterior, grew about 5 times their normal size, and became bloodthirsty beasts who would eat anything that moved.  These beasts soon began to terrorize the school, and Mr. Fickler knew it was his duty to clean this mess up.

Writing Starter #51

He simply wasn't able to stop.  Every day whenever he saw the smallest bit of food, nothing in his brain told him "food is what made you so big" or "you've already had enough today." He simply kept eating and eating, unable to resist a single bite.  Children would come to his house and throw food near his mouth, to see him struggle to catch it.  He hated how humiliated he felt, but he couldn't resist the food.  It was the greatest thing on Earth to him.

Writing Starter #50

The kids send a message saying Santa has died, thinking it will be funny.  But the Easter Bunny takes it seriously and lets the whole mythical community know, and soon everyone is really upset, including Santa, who is mad that people are spreading rumors about him.  He searches for whoever started the whole thing and eventually finds the kids and turns them into elves.

Writing Starter #49

The gang decided to take their Magic School Bus somewhere that they could learn about Social Studies and Grammar, because they'd realized they'd been completely neglecting every area of study besides biology and astronomy.  While they thought they might be going to some historic building, their teacher decided to bring them to one of her favorite places to learn about otherwise boring subjects: School House Rock.  They showed up and noticed the never ending infectious jingles coming from all directions.  They tried to figure out where they were when a little piece of paper walked up to them and repeatedly explained the fact that he was a bill.  Then a young girl showed up to tell them to start unpacking adjectives, and began to whip out giant spelled-out words from her bag like "Ugly," "Purple" and "Slimy."  They were frightened, to say the least.

Children's Story

Marvin the monkey was walking down the street, on his way back from fetching the water for the rest of his tribe.

Marvin: "It's getting late, I better hurry!"

Just then, a rather sinister looking snake popped out in front of Marvin's face and startled him.

Snake: "Hey Maaaarvin.  Where are you going in such a hurry? Come join us!"

Marvin: "Oh no, they've taught me about snakes.  Don't think you can trick me! I'm getting back to my village!"

Marvin continues to run, but is stopped when he hears a mighty roar, and sees a Tiger emerge from the bushes.

Tiger: "Please, don't listen to the snake.  The truth is, we're having a party back here, and you should come join us."

Marvin: "I'm really sorry, but I have to get back to my tribe soon, or they will be very upset with me."

As Marvin ran towards his tribe, and looked back to see if perhaps the snake was following him, he thudded into a sloth, dangling from a branch.

Sloth: "Those two scared you didn't they.  Don't worry, we really are very friendly and have a lot of fun.  Come join us!"

Marvin: "You were at the same party as those two?"

Sloth: "Of course I was! Everyone in the jungle is there.  Really, you must join us!"

Marvin: "Look, I really wish I could, but I have to get back to my village before it's dark.  Sorry!"

Marvin ran off, determined to get back to his village before the sun was down, when he noticed an animal perched about twenty feet in front of him.  When he approached it, he realized it was one of the wise old owls.

Owl: "Hello Marvin.  It has come to my attention that you haven't listened to any of my messengers."

Marvin: "Oh, no, it isn't that! You see I just really need to get back to my tribe."

Owl: "I think they would understand if they heard that an owl required you presence.  No please, Marvin, join us."

Marvin: "Alright, I guess, just for a little."

Owl: "We're all over this way."

And the owl flew off into the brush.  Marvin ran after him, shouting, looking for everyone.  It was getting dark, and he didn't like to be alone.  He felt a tap on his shoulder, and whipped around to find the snake from earlier in his trip.

Marvin: "It's you! Where are all of the others?"

Snake: "I am all of the other's Marvin.  I've lured all of those animals into this trap, just like you, so that I can devour them, and then become them.  And you're about to be next!"

The snake coiled up with the end of his tail waving in the air, mesmerizing Marvin.  He was about to pounce and bite Marvin, but Marvin soon realized the snake's tail was within reach.  He grabbed it, and pulled it into the snake's mouth just as the snake was about to clamp down, causing him to bite his own tail.  As it happened, all of the spirits were released from the snake's body and they materialized around him.

Marvin walked back to his tribe and was soon greeted by very angry village leaders, as well as his parents.  But as they began to scold him, an owl flew in, and explained to them how Marvin had saved nearly half the jungle from the evil snake that was capturing their souls, and was considered a hero.

The tribe leaders considered this and decided to throw Marvin a real party, where everyone in the jungle was invited, but they only had to go if they wanted to.

Writing Starter #48

It was a flying whale! There it was, floating above him.  It turned itself over so it could talk to Clarence.  

What are you doing down there?

What are you doing up there?

I'm having fun!

But how?

The wizard! He's making all of the animals fly! Go see him!

Writing Starter #47

Lenny the Lion: Dave, I lost all of my teeth! I can't be a lion if I don't have teeth!

Dave the Duck: Well I'm afraid of water! How am I supposed to be a duck if I'm afraid of water?

Marvin the Monkey: You two don't need teeth or water to have a life!

Lenny: But all lions need lots of sharp teeth to catch other animals.

Dave: And all ducks need to be able to swim to travel with the group.  We spend all of our time in the water.

Marvin: Oh come on.  Look at me! I can't climb trees, which is how most monkeys get around and get their food.  But then I found these roller skates, and now I'm the fastest monkey in the forest! And I pick up all of the food the other monkeys drop for me.

Lenny: Wow, I guess you're right!

Marvin: Of course I am.  If you're not able to do something, that just gives you the opportunity to do something else and stand out from everyone else.

Writing Starter #46

Dr. Xingo loved to have friends, but unfortunately everyone in existence considered him insane.

So that he could still have friends, he decided to make friends that weren't already in existence.

He made dogs that were blue... cat's that were pink... hamsters with wings... dinosaurs that could fit in your hand!

He had so many new friends.

But unlucky for Dr. Xingo, everyone else liked his animals too, and they bought them all.

Children's Story Ideas

1. Woody liked to invent his own realities in his head, because they were much easier to win at. 

2. "Whoever you are, whatever you do, be better today than you were yesterday."

3. "People are strange when you're a stranger, faces look ugly when you're alone."

4. Endless creation of all kinds of animals, kids have a new favorite animal each day.

5. A toaster that will turn anything you put in it into gold. 

6. Not everyone is trying to help you out. 

7. Does space begin to change as you go deeper and further?

Writing Starter #45

Adam spends every single day filling his mouth with cotton candy, completely unconcerned with anything else.  After all, it's free, isn't it? His parents gave up on trying to control it, because it is simply everywhere, and even they enjoy the cotton candy.  However, on his way home one day, he sees someone accidentally catch their hand on a branch off of a tree and their arm comes clean off.  It separates into threads and falls to the ground, completely vanishing into the sea of cotton candy. 
As they jump to the ground to try to find it, their other arm comes clean off just as the first did.  Soon their entire body is disintegrating into the feathery substance, until only their head remains, and it is sucked down into the abyss of the cotton candy. 

Writing Starter #44

Dinosaurs rampage through the army zombies, tearing apart the imminent threat that they present to them.  Bodies fly into the air and blood is spattered everywhere.  But as the battle rages on and the remaining humans watch from their air vessels, they begin to notice the dinosaurs start to become discolored and start moving more slowly.  Soon Brontosauri begin to devour each other, but in such a slow and lifeless manor that they have never possessed.  The dinosaurs turn to zombies just as humans did, something no scientist ever saw coming.  Soon a collection on human and dinosaur zombies are roaming among the Earth, completely disinterested in each other but each still craving flesh.